On the first of May I had my initial appointment with my neurologist. I played it smart and brought my roommate along to be my migraine advocate – someone who makes sure that you’re spelling out your needs and symptoms appropriately. One of the biggest problems with chronic pain sufferers is the habit of downplaying our symptoms due to both a higher pain tolerance and the constant slog of the illness. The appointment went well, and I was prescribed my first preventative, noritriptyline, and a different abortive, naratriptan. We also added ondansetron to help with nausea, so I could get back to eating well.
As with all things migraine, the past month has been the health and wellness mambo: two steps forward, one step back.
I had hoped to have this in two separate blog posts, as I promised Dasha aka Russian Friend that I would type up a transcript of my LGBT Cultures Around the World panel from Conbust. But its April 16th and here we are. I’m still cursing capitalism for my tax payment, which is the highest it has ever been despite having my lowest income in six years. Yet its a brand new day, the sun is shining, and my brain is in the best shape it can be in.
Okay, so I’m not even remotely a fan of Workaholics, but I sent that text to my Dad with a picture of my drug bottle and it made him laugh.
My first doctor’s appointment was last Tuesday and it went…well, it went. It was a middle of the road experience. I wasn’t completely ignored like I worried I would be, but I don’t think I was taken seriously either.
I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty healthy person.
I don’t smoke. I don’t do any drugs. I rarely drink. I probably consume at least a gallon of water a day. I try to avoid processed food. I don’t eat a lot of sweets, and that includes soda. I’m mindful of how food makes me feel and try to adjust accordingly. I do yoga daily. I lift weights.
And now I am preparing for the long process of applying for disability at my next doctor’s appointment, which will be my first in four years. Just this past weekend, I nearly went to the ER.
How did I get here.
I live with migraines. It’s not something I’ve ever bothered talking about at length until recently. Why? Because I’ve never thought of it as anything truly worthy of note. It’s just my life. Sometimes it sucks and it’s awful, but that’s everyone’s days, right? People deal with this shit all the time, yeah?
Not yeah. I am a foolish recluse who had no idea just how bad I had it until one day when I was in the breakroom at Target, and a commercial came on the TV for Botox. But the ad wasn’t for cosmetic use, it was for the treatment of migraines. I’d heard of this before in my previous work as a technical writer for medical practices. The ad says near the end, to try and encourage people to their doctors, “If you suffer from one migraine every month, talk to your doctor to see if Botox is right for you.”
At that point I doubled over laughing, which was bad cause I was dizzy and disoriented from a migraine. Continue reading
HAHA JUST KIDDING I’M JUST HERE TO HAVE FUN AND MAKE MONEY.
No I’m not, this is publishing. I am here to write the damn stories I want to tell and share them with folks who will hopefully enjoy them too.
So why did I write this one?
Well. Short answer: BECAUSE I CAN.
Long answer: BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE HAS and that’s kind of…well..it pisses me off.
That’s just how I roll, man. I’m a good person. I’ve got a big heart and a good head on my shoulders. But man, show me a spy novel with a queer male lead. No, no really. Take your time. I’ll wait. Continue reading
I’m fucking terrified to write this book.
But I realize I’ve been terrified to write a lot of books.
…lets start at the beginning. Continue reading